[missy]

Hello,

I have a question for any or all of you.

Do you sometimes try to fool yourself into thinking that you are truly following Our Lady's messages at Medjugorje because you do things like keep up with the forum or ponder prophecy or attend mass or say your prayers...but it is rote, not from your heart? It's kind of like you immerse yourself within the catholic culture, but not really your heart. You are not trying very hard at all and your prayer life is on "life support" so to speak, yet you can somehow justify it because you "do" all the right things (just not "live" the right things).

Lately, I have felt this way. My prayer life is on life support. Fasting has gone to the birds since becoming pregnant, when there are things I could truly fast from. I think about future events and prophecy, but in a cold kind of way. I justify it to myself as being a distracted pregnant mommy (hormones do like to mess with your head and emotions a bit during this condition). I find myself lapsing into sins that I thought were mostly in the past. General laziness takes over and I promise to say the rosary later while saying only a quick Hail Mary here and there. So I find myself feeling like a bit of a fraud! Jesus came for sinners, but is there a quota of "acceptable" sins after one's initial conversion? Intellectually I know this answer already. I DO believe in His unfathomable mercy and I cling to it with all my heart. Still, I feel very badly that I've let him down so and for some time. My discipline this last half year stinks.

I'm really trying to pray again. I try to say the rosary when I awake at night even if I'm distracted...perservere!! Driving my kids to school I turn off the news now and listen to classical while doing some more of the rosary. My mind wanders and I try to reign it in as I realize I'm on pluto instead of the 4th joyful mystery. I'm trying to say the complete Chaplet of Divine Mercy again. I want to start going to daily mass more frequently again...we'll see if the little ones protest too loudly for the other church goers or not. I WANT to get to confession!!!!!!! I need some logistical help from my gaurdian angel with this one (always have kids with me)!!!

I haven't been terrible with everything though. I can still pray, short prayers for others, and try to help in other ways. I know God expects/hopes for more from me even if He loves me as I am.

Well I guess I've come clean with all of you guys. I'm tired of feeling that I'm constantly disappointing Our Blessed Mother so often that her sad messages are directed straight to my heart!! I'm not sure why I felt the need to post this, but so be it I did. Jesus is merciful thank goodness!!

Please pray for me and try not to think I'm too lazy or whatever!!! Pray for my family and the baby inside me. I'm currently not allowed to do too much!! I don't say this for sympathy, but out of frustration and concern for my baby ( and the wreck my house is becoming....sometimes it is nice having an excuse to clean though)!!

God bless all of you!!! I do say Hail Mary's and private prayes when I look through your prayer requests though!! I have done that from the heart...maybe that is what has kept me going!!

Thank you for reading my ramblings and God bless!!

[starbright]

You're doing fine, Missy.

If there is something you feel you could do better, try just picking one small thing and concentrate on that for a few months and see if you start do it better more often.

As far as praying from the heart is concerned, have you ever tried just lying in bed at the end of the day before you sleep and feeling in your middle how much you love God and then kind of mentally sending it to him and telling him in your own words that you love him? I find that it helps me.

God bless and you're doing fine.

[NiteOwl333]

I am new and just registered minutes ago. I am a mom of 4 and am from Chicago...I havent figured out how to add more to my profile and add a symbol pic thingy but heck, I felt like I wanted to say HI to you...
I am so familiar with your days! My oldest is 15, and my youngest is 7. I am 37 and look 22 without makeup! Which always freaks people out when I tell the I have 4 kids....

I am the same EXACT way, in regards to your struggles, I know what I should be doing but get distracted often... I think we are over critical of ourselves and need to realize that just being a FULL TIME mom and homemaker and basically on the clock 24/7, is a

continuous

prayer.

Often I started a rosary at the sink while doing dishes and finished it, oh um, maybe later with the next car pool. ....or even the next day. Intention and a humble heart is what is important. I get caught up in "Pride" often - yet often its just a frustration that I wish I knew more women like myself. Raised Catholic, 12 yr educated with the schools but only really started to dive into my faith and scripture during my marriage ( of 15 yrs now)...whew!

So I look forward to this interctive chat thing, it is my FIRST time ever doing this! ANd yes I am a nite owl, well at 3am, I will fall asleep the Divine Mercy Chaplet....

God Bless you...and good morning! haha

[starbright]

Welcome, Niteowl!!

[LittleRed]

Why spend so much time focusing on your failures....look at what you do throughout your day....raising a family, giving your all to your family...that is a form of prayer!! Our Lord knows what you are capable of giving to Him each and every day, each and every moment......if all you can say is a quick prayer from your heart, just let Him know you love Him and thank Him.....

My mom had to manage the care of 8 children...my dad worked all day..... And she once told me(and I have shared this before on the forum)that there were some days all she could do was just ask God to get her through the day.......but all us kids knew we were loved by our mom(and dad )....she gave all of herself to raise us kids and we felt her love.....

May your day be a prayer....your actions, how you treat others can be a form of prayer and very pleasing to God .....

So stop being so hard on yourselves and offer up your day as a prayer to Our Lord ....

Bless, Sharon

[marylover]

Missy the greatest saints, Mother Therese, Saint Catherine of Sienna, Saint John of the Cross, they had dark nights in which they felt prayer was just repitition and that they even doubted heaven and God.
Sometimes when you pull through these periods it makes you stronger in your faith.
Being pregnant in itself causes your body such changes and the extras responsibilites you have could be so stressful.

I'm sure the saints are looking down at you and saying I remember those days Hang in there friend.

[marylover]

welcome Niteowl.

[OnASpiritualJourney2]

Welcome Nightowl!

I agree with LittleRed! Ask Him to be a part of your day in the morning and thank Him at night. Anything else you can manage while caring for your family is a bonus! Too soon they will be older and you'll have more time to devote to prayer individually and as a family.

[prayer]

That's for us the same problem, we name it in the monastery tradition: the dark nights,sometimes for days ,or even years,but after that you are a big step futher on the road to God,and indeed you must hold on,instead of a full rosary : start again with one single hail Mary,slowly praying,if you can in silence , no radio tv or computer (or kids).Ask ( what you already did) for friends to pray with you not only at this forum but at a chapel of church before the Blessed Sacrament.Next sunday I am in the monasterium and I ask the sisters to pray for you.

[missy]

Thank you!!! Please keep my unborn baby in your prayers...I just went on bedrest and all I care is that I have a healthy baby this summer!! God bless you all!!!

[OnASpiritualJourney2]

Missy praying. Praying for St. Gerard and Padre Pio's intercession. Take care and rest up. Accept any and all help others offer you!

[leo daly]

Firstly I'd say that the fact you're concerned is a good sign because it means you care about your faith. Some people have lapsed in their spiritual life and don't care

Secondly, you mentioned you'd like to go to confession. I was feeling the same as you. Last week I went to confession after a reasonably long break and I found peace, I also found it easier to pray etc.

Pregnancy may be making it hard to fast but you could say you're fasting from sleep etc. Think about the things you're not doing because of the pregnancy. Think also about the fact you're working to bring a new life into the world. Who knows what he or she may do for the world.

I sometimes wonder wether I'm speaking too much about medjugorje and not doing enough. It is times like that when I wish I could have a proper 2 way conversation with God and check my progress. I know I have a conscience but that can be flawed.

Remember also Jesus fell 3 times, he also nearly asked for the crucifixion to be taken away from him and he also asked God why he'd abandoned him. If Jesus was able to slip in his earthly life, surely we're allowed to slip occasionally to. It is our efforts to get up again that count.
Cheers
Leo.

[missy]

Thank you!!! Please just pray for my baby!!! I have a tear behind my placenta that is worsening. The baby is okay for now. I figure no matter the odds if God wants this baby to be okay then it will be, but I can't even be upright really anymore without bleeding. So much for suffering in quiet!!! I'm offering it up, but just want my baby to be okay. Anyone heading to Medjugorje or to see the visionaries please say a special prayer too if you're present for an apparition. Thank you all for your prayers...Keep them up please!!! I was praying for humility and to surrender better...wow...better watch out what I ask for....(trying to deep a little light humor)!!! God bless all of you!!!

[mamamary]

oh missy! i am sending my guardian angel with my prayers directly to heaven's altar now!!!

be patient, have faith, and everything will be fine!!!

[MitchforMary]

Missy.....I think I could have posted the exact same comments, well except the pregnancy thing don't not beat yourself down. I have fallen into that " it is the weekend, I need a break from my rosary" which makes no sense what so ever. At these moments I will actually strike up a conversation with mother or Jesus just to apologise for the miss. Then I will try to get back on track. Just keep doing what you can and if anything tell mother and our Lord that you love them and thank you for their help......

[OnASpiritualJourney2]

Praying for you and your baby Missy. Do you have someone helping you with the other children? If you want to bring some humor, just imagine the huge guilt trip you can put on this precious child when they're a defiant teenager! You can tell him or her what you did for them!

[Angelina]

Unfortunately, I find that I can no longer pray the rosary. So many unfortunate things happen to me and I cannot cope with them, when I say my rosary and I got afraid to say it! I told a priest and he said that I can meditate on the bible, gospel etc and pray that way instead if it suited me better. SO I am trying. I dont know why this is, but thats the truth. I am a new member and enjoy Our Lady's messages, although I am a bit fearful for the futre and for my children. I have seven children.

[OnASpiritualJourney2]

Angelina - welcome!!!

Your priest has given you good advice. Just to be praying in whatever way you can will help you to be able to pray more and to notice changes - not necessarily with circumstances - but within you and how you deal with the circumstances.

Even the Medjugorje visionaries started praying slowly. There's a prayer - called the Medjugorje Rosary - of 7 Our Fathers, 7 Hail Mary's, 7 Glory Be's and the Apostles Creed which she started them out with. I believe I've read that Mirjana has said that she continues to start her day with these prayers. No reason you can't start with even one of each of the prayers and then add more as you're able.

How wonderful that you care enough about your spiritual life to begin praying!

[rogertc]

Missy,
Welcome to our little family of believers of Medjugorje and Lovers of Peace. Your story is not unlike many others here, so your in good company. Our Blessed Holy mother Mary very early on told the seers that if you prayed the Rosary daily "fervantly" Your prayers will begin to "....flow like a river......" So don't give up grab your Rosary and make your life a living prayer even the little things do not go unnoticed, offer it up!

[Nick]

Missy,

God dose not call us to Medjugorje, God calls us to Jesus Christ. Far from this meaning Medjugorje is false, it means you must stop centering your spiritual life on Medjugorje and center it on Jesus Christ. You think your life is centered on Him, but if you are judging yourself by the messages of Medjugorje than you are not centered on Him but on Medjugorje. For if you were centered on Him, you would be judging yourself by His doctrines.

Please listen to what the Church has to say on this matter, as present by the good Cardinal Arinze: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29f69elBzvs

"What are apparitions? Since many people are attracted by them, especially as this century and millennium are drawing to an end, locally in this country but also in other countries: Apparition, apparition, apparition; seer, seer, seer.
"Our Lord Jesus Christ, the Blessed Virgin Mary, and the saints can appear to anyone as Divine Providence may decide. And God can send visions or thoughts or locutions to anyone He wishes. If such apparitions or locutions are genuine, they are called 'private revelations'. If they are genuine.
"Public Revelation was concluded with the death of the last of the Apostles, Saint John. That means it's already almost two thousand years minus one hundred when Public Revelation was concluded. If a private revelation is genuine, it will always be a confirmation of what is already in Public Revelation.
"Only Public Revelation becomes an object of Divine Catholic Faith. That is what we must believe with Divine Catholic Faith -- dogma. Only such dose the Church demand that we all believe.
"The Church never imposes belief in a private revelation, even when a private revelation is approved by the Church as coming from Heaven. Like Lourdes and Fatima. These are said to come from Heaven, but even than, the Church dose not impose them as objects of Catholic Faith.
"It is very difficult to know in practice if that an apparition is really from God or if it is the fruit of somebody's overfertile imagination, somebody's pious ideas, somebody who dose not distinguish between reality and dream, or somebody who has a type of journey. It is very difficult to know when they are a result of deceit of the devil.
"And even in a genuine private revelation, the seer can make mistakes in recounting or interpreting some of the details. This has happened even to saints canonized. They made a few mistakes in details, they were confused.
"'In practice'. It means that we should test a reported apparition by such questions as the following:
"Dose it agree entirely with the revealed and Divine Catholic Faith?
"Dose it lead us to the center of our Faith, which is where Holy Scriptures is, and Sacred Tradition, and where the Pope and the Bishops are?
"Dose it lead us to obey the Pope and the Bishops?
"If you said, 'The private revelation told us not to mind the Pope and the Bishops', we'd tell you, 'It's not from Heaven.'
"It is therefore a mistake if a Christian now makes a reported apparition a central event in the Christian life or a test of those who are fervent Christians. If now you test people, 'If you don't believe in the apparition, you are not a good Catholic,' you have the whole thing wrong.
"It is a negative sign when some Christians follow seers or visionaries, they follow them, they read daily their writings and utterances - but they won't read the Gospels, they won't read the Catechism of the Catholic Church, they won't read the documents of the Pope - and they read the documents of the Seer/Visionary XYZ.
"It is a very negative sign when some people disobey or ignore the Pope and the Bishops in union with him all in the name of a vision or an apparition. Christ told His Apostles, 'Anyone who listens to you, listens to Me. Anyone who rejects you, rejects Me. And those who reject Me reject the One who sent Me.'
"Somebody asked me, 'There is one apparition that is reported, are you going on pilgrimage there?' I said, 'Oh yes, I go on pilgrimage, but do you know why I go on pilgrimage? The Chapel. Where we have the Blessed Sacrament in the Tabernacle. Where we are not guessing, where we are sure! That's my pilgrimage.'
"Please understand me. I do not say 'Do not go to Lourdes, do not go to Fatima'. Those are certain. Jerusalem is where our Faith began.
"But there are some other places where we don't know whether Our Lady was there or not. I don't go there. They can do good to people, it doesn't prove yet. We don't know. Might be, might not be.
"It takes a lot of challenge - Yes and Yes - to know when they are genuine. Sometimes it takes fifty years, one hundred years.
"We don't base our Faith on such because we have solid foundation for our Faith already. You want pilgrimage? Jerusalem! Of course."

[/url]

[Nick]

Missy,

God dose not call us to Medjugorje, God calls us to Jesus Christ. Far from this meaning Medjugorje is false, it means you must stop centering your spiritual life on Medjugorje and center it on Jesus Christ. You think your life is centered on Him, but if you are judging yourself by the messages of Medjugorje than you are not centered on Him but on Medjugorje. For if you were centered on Him, you would be judging yourself by His doctrines.

Please listen to what the Church has to say on this matter, as present by the good Cardinal Arinze: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29f69elBzvs

"What are apparitions? Since many people are attracted by them, especially as this century and millennium are drawing to an end, locally in this country but also in other countries: Apparition, apparition, apparition; seer, seer, seer.
"Our Lord Jesus Christ, the Blessed Virgin Mary, and the saints can appear to anyone as Divine Providence may decide. And God can send visions or thoughts or locutions to anyone He wishes. If such apparitions or locutions are genuine, they are called 'private revelations'. If they are genuine.
"Public Revelation was concluded with the death of the last of the Apostles, Saint John. That means it's already almost two thousand years minus one hundred when Public Revelation was concluded. If a private revelation is genuine, it will always be a confirmation of what is already in Public Revelation.
"Only Public Revelation becomes an object of Divine Catholic Faith. That is what we must believe with Divine Catholic Faith -- dogma. Only such dose the Church demand that we all believe.
"The Church never imposes belief in a private revelation, even when a private revelation is approved by the Church as coming from Heaven. Like Lourdes and Fatima. These are said to come from Heaven, but even than, the Church dose not impose them as objects of Catholic Faith.
"It is very difficult to know in practice if that an apparition is really from God or if it is the fruit of somebody's overfertile imagination, somebody's pious ideas, somebody who dose not distinguish between reality and dream, or somebody who has a type of journey. It is very difficult to know when they are a result of deceit of the devil.
"And even in a genuine private revelation, the seer can make mistakes in recounting or interpreting some of the details. This has happened even to saints canonized. They made a few mistakes in details, they were confused.
"'In practice'. It means that we should test a reported apparition by such questions as the following:
"Dose it agree entirely with the revealed and Divine Catholic Faith?
"Dose it lead us to the center of our Faith, which is where Holy Scriptures is, and Sacred Tradition, and where the Pope and the Bishops are?
"Dose it lead us to obey the Pope and the Bishops?
"If you said, 'The private revelation told us not to mind the Pope and the Bishops', we'd tell you, 'It's not from Heaven.'
"It is therefore a mistake if a Christian now makes a reported apparition a central event in the Christian life or a test of those who are fervent Christians. If now you test people, 'If you don't believe in the apparition, you are not a good Catholic,' you have the whole thing wrong.
"It is a negative sign when some Christians follow seers or visionaries, they follow them, they read daily their writings and utterances - but they won't read the Gospels, they won't read the Catechism of the Catholic Church, they won't read the documents of the Pope - and they read the documents of the Seer/Visionary XYZ.
"It is a very negative sign when some people disobey or ignore the Pope and the Bishops in union with him all in the name of a vision or an apparition. Christ told His Apostles, 'Anyone who listens to you, listens to Me. Anyone who rejects you, rejects Me. And those who reject Me reject the One who sent Me.'
"Somebody asked me, 'There is one apparition that is reported, are you going on pilgrimage there?' I said, 'Oh yes, I go on pilgrimage, but do you know why I go on pilgrimage? The Chapel. Where we have the Blessed Sacrament in the Tabernacle. Where we are not guessing, where we are sure! That's my pilgrimage.'
"Please understand me. I do not say 'Do not go to Lourdes, do not go to Fatima'. Those are certain. Jerusalem is where our Faith began.
"But there are some other places where we don't know whether Our Lady was there or not. I don't go there. They can do good to people, it doesn't prove yet. We don't know. Might be, might not be.
"It takes a lot of challenge - Yes and Yes - to know when they are genuine. Sometimes it takes fifty years, one hundred years.
"We don't base our Faith on such because we have solid foundation for our Faith already. You want pilgrimage? Jerusalem! Of course."

[Nick]

Missy,

God dose not call us to Medjugorje, God calls us to Jesus Christ. Far from this meaning Medjugorje is false, it means you must stop centering your spiritual life on Medjugorje and center it on Jesus Christ. You think your life is centered on Him, but if you are judging yourself by the messages of Medjugorje than you are not centered on Him but on Medjugorje. For if you were centered on Him, you would be judging yourself by His doctrines.

Please listen to what the Church has to say on this matter, as present by the good Cardinal Arinze: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29f69elBzvs

"What are apparitions? Since many people are attracted by them, especially as this century and millennium are drawing to an end, locally in this country but also in other countries: Apparition, apparition, apparition; seer, seer, seer.
"Our Lord Jesus Christ, the Blessed Virgin Mary, and the saints can appear to anyone as Divine Providence may decide. And God can send visions or thoughts or locutions to anyone He wishes. If such apparitions or locutions are genuine, they are called 'private revelations'. If they are genuine.
"Public Revelation was concluded with the death of the last of the Apostles, Saint John. That means it's already almost two thousand years minus one hundred when Public Revelation was concluded. If a private revelation is genuine, it will always be a confirmation of what is already in Public Revelation.
"Only Public Revelation becomes an object of Divine Catholic Faith. That is what we must believe with Divine Catholic Faith -- dogma. Only such dose the Church demand that we all believe.
"The Church never imposes belief in a private revelation, even when a private revelation is approved by the Church as coming from Heaven. Like Lourdes and Fatima. These are said to come from Heaven, but even than, the Church dose not impose them as objects of Catholic Faith.
"It is very difficult to know in practice if that an apparition is really from God or if it is the fruit of somebody's overfertile imagination, somebody's pious ideas, somebody who dose not distinguish between reality and dream, or somebody who has a type of journey. It is very difficult to know when they are a result of deceit of the devil.
"And even in a genuine private revelation, the seer can make mistakes in recounting or interpreting some of the details. This has happened even to saints canonized. They made a few mistakes in details, they were confused.
"'In practice'. It means that we should test a reported apparition by such questions as the following:
"Dose it agree entirely with the revealed and Divine Catholic Faith?
"Dose it lead us to the center of our Faith, which is where Holy Scriptures is, and Sacred Tradition, and where the Pope and the Bishops are?
"Dose it lead us to obey the Pope and the Bishops?
"If you said, 'The private revelation told us not to mind the Pope and the Bishops', we'd tell you, 'It's not from Heaven.'
"It is therefore a mistake if a Christian now makes a reported apparition a central event in the Christian life or a test of those who are fervent Christians. If now you test people, 'If you don't believe in the apparition, you are not a good Catholic,' you have the whole thing wrong.
"It is a negative sign when some Christians follow seers or visionaries, they follow them, they read daily their writings and utterances - but they won't read the Gospels, they won't read the Catechism of the Catholic Church, they won't read the documents of the Pope - and they read the documents of the Seer/Visionary XYZ.
"It is a very negative sign when some people disobey or ignore the Pope and the Bishops in union with him all in the name of a vision or an apparition. Christ told His Apostles, 'Anyone who listens to you, listens to Me. Anyone who rejects you, rejects Me. And those who reject Me reject the One who sent Me.'
"Somebody asked me, 'There is one apparition that is reported, are you going on pilgrimage there?' I said, 'Oh yes, I go on pilgrimage, but do you know why I go on pilgrimage? The Chapel. Where we have the Blessed Sacrament in the Tabernacle. Where we are not guessing, where we are sure! That's my pilgrimage.'
"Please understand me. I do not say 'Do not go to Lourdes, do not go to Fatima'. Those are certain. Jerusalem is where our Faith began.
"But there are some other places where we don't know whether Our Lady was there or not. I don't go there. They can do good to people, it doesn't prove yet. We don't know. Might be, might not be.
"It takes a lot of challenge - Yes and Yes - to know when they are genuine. Sometimes it takes fifty years, one hundred years.
"We don't base our Faith on such because we have solid foundation for our Faith already. You want pilgrimage? Jerusalem! Of course."

[missy]

Thank you for your insights Nick. If the church were to say tomorrow that Medjugorje was not real and we could not believe...then I would follow the Magisterium. The messages of Medjugorje have helped me grow closer to Jesus...Mary pointing to Jesus. I started doing more of what Our Lady recommended and it turned me to Him.
I've gone through some real spiritual dryness the last year and a half and had some real life challenges...nearly lost my baby....had to leave house because of sky-high levels of toxic mold...husband away in training for 3 months...again now for 6 months....5 very small children.....serious illness with myself and family members...
Through I have not been perfect, but I kept surrendering it to God and He keeps taking care of us...He is teaching me trust and I'm learning I am very, very, very far from perfect. I'm learning trust, faith, humility, and love. So I am better off than I was when I originally wrote this....it's kind of like I'm walking the path and stumble a lot!!! God is guiding me to Him on this path and sends His Mother to help me up and show the way sometimes!!
Thanks again!!
Kristen

[Nick]

I apologize for the triple posts, it was only suppose to be one post

[LittleRed]

The messages of Medjugorje in which Our Lady provides us embody the church teachings and doctrines......Our Lady only leads us to her Son.....

And I believe most of us on this forum, myself included, will abide by whatever decision the Church hands down regarding Medjugorje.....we are Roman Catholics and we are followers of the Church.....

Bless, Sharon