- Tue Sep 16, 2008 5:51 pm
#99004
My name is Lisa. I don't know how I have found God again, or why now, but I so needed it.
I grew up Catholic, but fell away from the church in high school.
So now some 25 years later, I am back. It began with the baptism of my son in May. I took a look at the world outside our door. The teenagers running around in tight clothing. The drugs in the streets and the negativity and poor influence of TV....meanwhile my family was begging for a baptism date. I was not into having it done. I had lost faith in the church. I was angry. I was tired, and I was so far from God. I wasn't a bad person, I just felt that in church wasn't how I wanted to pray.
SO while I refused to go to church, I managed to pray to St. Anthony whenever I lost my keys..and my wallet...and my cellphone...and I KEPT losing things, and in more frequency. It seemed the more I prayed the more I lost, the more I needed to again call on St. Anthony. How selfish of me...I wouldn't go to church, yet I'd pray when I needed something. What I really lost that I needed to regain was my faith, and I truly believe that he was calling me back to the church.
Meanwhile always answering my smallest prayers, St. Anthony seemed to pop up in odd places... My new writing buddy was Catholic and recommended the St. Anthony Messenger. I found a medal in my house of St. Anthony, though I really don't know where it came from. I began to feel that he was trying to tell me something.
Between that time and now, I don't recall how I came upon re-discovering information about Medjugorje but it pulled me to learn more, and to start saying the Rosary. Once I did that my heart opened up, I surrendered, and I felt alive again. In my heart, things finally felt right. My friends have been looking at me like I have a third head, because they know me to have been so steadfastly against going to church, but like I need to remember, it doesn't matter what people think because I know that my getting to know God and getting closer to our divine family through prayer is right. I feel in alignment with myself. I feel strong again. I feel that this devotion has saved me when I needed the strength to be a good mother!
I grew up Catholic, but fell away from the church in high school.
So now some 25 years later, I am back. It began with the baptism of my son in May. I took a look at the world outside our door. The teenagers running around in tight clothing. The drugs in the streets and the negativity and poor influence of TV....meanwhile my family was begging for a baptism date. I was not into having it done. I had lost faith in the church. I was angry. I was tired, and I was so far from God. I wasn't a bad person, I just felt that in church wasn't how I wanted to pray.
SO while I refused to go to church, I managed to pray to St. Anthony whenever I lost my keys..and my wallet...and my cellphone...and I KEPT losing things, and in more frequency. It seemed the more I prayed the more I lost, the more I needed to again call on St. Anthony. How selfish of me...I wouldn't go to church, yet I'd pray when I needed something. What I really lost that I needed to regain was my faith, and I truly believe that he was calling me back to the church.
Meanwhile always answering my smallest prayers, St. Anthony seemed to pop up in odd places... My new writing buddy was Catholic and recommended the St. Anthony Messenger. I found a medal in my house of St. Anthony, though I really don't know where it came from. I began to feel that he was trying to tell me something.
Between that time and now, I don't recall how I came upon re-discovering information about Medjugorje but it pulled me to learn more, and to start saying the Rosary. Once I did that my heart opened up, I surrendered, and I felt alive again. In my heart, things finally felt right. My friends have been looking at me like I have a third head, because they know me to have been so steadfastly against going to church, but like I need to remember, it doesn't matter what people think because I know that my getting to know God and getting closer to our divine family through prayer is right. I feel in alignment with myself. I feel strong again. I feel that this devotion has saved me when I needed the strength to be a good mother!
