You will come out of this "dark night" with great appreciation of Our Lady. She is on our side! I cannot emphasize that enough. Things may be muddy now, but it seems to me that you're undergoing a deep catharsis and nothing is making sense. This will pass, and if you hang in there, keep praying, and trusting, then the anger, confusion, frustration, and disorder that's swirling through your mind will permanently go away, replaced by inner peace, happiness, relief, and a sense of calm.
Just don't blame Our Lady. I really don't think any of us can fully appreciate what she's doing to help lead us to her son. I thank God every night for Mary's intercession (and I am mortified by any blasphemous thoughts against Our Lady), and it would be a great benefit for us all if we tried to imitate her virtues and thank her for being an incredible Mother.