[Observer]

Hi Folks:

As some of you may have noticed, I am new to this forum, and have posted on a few of the other message boards, but I thought I would give you good people a little introduction and let you know how I came to know our Lady of Medjugorje the Queen of Peace.

To start with, when I was a kid and a teen, I had a morbid fear of going to hell and spending the rest of eternity suffering. I was focused on the punishment that would befall those who didn't "make it," and thought very little about Heaven or Eternal Life. I also had, and still have I must confess, a "morbid" preoccupation with end time prophecies, predictions and stories. Films like the "Planet of the Ape" series, "When Worlds Collide," "The Omen" "Left Behind" "On the Beach" and a whole host of others were my absolute favorites.

Anyway, I went thrugh high school living in this horible fear, and then when I graduated from high school, I entered college, started hanging with some of the wrong people, was introduced to alcohol and marijuana and that fear and my faith started to wain. By the time I graduated from College, I only was attending Holy Mass at Christmas and Easter.

Back in 1985, I was about a year into my career as a professional photographer at our local Community College. My faith was at it's weakest point by then. I still believed in God and in Jesus Christ, but I had serious questions about the validity of any organized religion. I guess I was what you would call a Non Denominational, though I hardly ever prayed, or went to any of their meetings. The three most important things in my life back then were my car, my stereo and marijuana. I lived to get high, cruiz around, and crank out my music.

In January of 1986, my mom handed me a video caseette about Medjugorje. I was told that it was about end time predictions, and that morbie preoccupation got the better of me, so I popped it into the VCR. I watched with total interest as I puffed away on a joint, not quite buying into the story as a whole, but I decided that it would be worth making a trip to Medjugorje to see if was all for real. So in March of 86, I contacted "The Center for Peace," and I booked a reservation on the pilgrimage for that month. While I was there I had such a profound sense of peace and happiness that I didn't want to go home. While climbing the Mountain of the Cross, I caught myself praying the "Hail Mary," as though I was in the habbit of it all my life. I didn't even know I was doing it! I was also NOT in the habbit of praying back then like I am today.

My life has not been the same since. I still smoked pot and drank a little after I got back, but more and more I was pulled away from it. Gradualy, my focus was diverted from my personal possessions, and placed on going to Heaven. I started going to Mass every Sunday again, and my faith grew stronger and stronger. Today, I pray the Rosary twice a day. I am seriously considering entering the Priesthood, and I haven't touched drink or pot in a very long time. The last time I smoked pot, I had a horifying experience which I won't go into at this time.

My faith now, is based on a more positive outlook. Instead of fearing going to hell, I am excited about going to Heaven. Instead of feeling scared all the time, I feel happy, and that God and Mary are on my side ane are pulling for me all the way. Yes, I still like to blast my stereo once in a while, and recently I fell in love with riding motorcycles, but my number one love in life is God, and my main priority in life is getting to heaven. I still enjoy a good "end of the world" tale or prediction, and I must confess that I still tend to be morbidly curious about these things, but all in all, thanks to God and our Holy Blessed Mother, I have a much better outlook on life.

I realize this was a long post, so I will end it here. If any of you have any questions feel free to ask. Thank you for being so patient and reading this long post.

Peace to all

Observer

[Sandyc]

Hi Observer,

Welcome to the forum, I have been reading some of your post's. I am sure you will feel welcomed by everyone and truly feel such joy with the people on this forum.

Your story on your conversion is strong, some tuff time's ha. Even being in a drunken or high state of mind, the Holy Spirit has come to you, your heart was opened.

So much in your life that happened and here you are today discerning on priesthood, see, the Lord has everything planned. I will pray for you and that the Lord answer's you. The gift of Discernment is a great gift. To be in Medj. in 1986 and doing what you were doing at that time, the Lord can change anything! God Bless you and welcome.

Sandyc

[Observer]

Thank you, Sandyc. I did have a lot of hard times even after my Medjugorje experience, but like you said. God has plans, and your prayers are very much appreciated.

Peace to All

Observer

[starbright]

Very interesting conversion story, Observer.

The Observer is the name of a newspaper in the UK.

[thomas]

Welcome to the forum Observer! May the Lord and Our Lady bless you on your continued discernment and journey!

[Observer]

Thanks again for the welcome. I very much appreciate any prayers I can get these days.

As for the Newspaper in the UK, I am not part of that. I work at the Media Services dept at my local community college, and I live in Dwight Illinois.

Observer was the only moniker I could come up with that wouldn't appear to be self agrandising.

Peace to All

Observer

[Sirach1717]

Welcome Observer! What an awesome witness, thank you for sharing with us. I think you would make a great priest. One who could really relate to the youth of today. If you think you have a calling, keep praying about God's will for your life. The devil is going to be working extra hard on you, so be aware of that.

I love that you pray two rosaries a day. What a testament to how our Blessed Mother is moving in your life. Stay ever close to her mantle.

Blessings,

Mary
PS as a mom, stay away from motorcycles, they are soo dangerous! My son, like you, loves his car and anything with wheels. Must be a male thing.

[starbright]

Observer, you said

Observer was the only moniker I could come up with that wouldn't appear to be self agrandising.

I think it is a very good name, by the way!

[mcikath]

Dear Observer, take a tip from me, keep on saying your Rosary
as often as you can, and you won't go far wrong.Ask Our Mother Mary and the Holy Spirit to guide you in your decision to become a priest, and i will pray for you in my Rosary that you will be guided in the right direction.May God bless you and strengthen you, love and prayers mcikath xxx

[Observer]

Sirach, thanks for the encouragement, and I never leave home withoug my Rosary in my pocket. I actualy have a way of praying the Rosary while riding my motorcycle. As for giving it up, I don't know if I can. It's quite addictive.

Mcikath, I have had some very distressing news (which I won't get in to right now) about 3 weeks before Christmas, and praying the Rosary has made me feel so peace ful, like I have not a care in the world. I don't know what's going to happen, but for some reason, I feel like everything is going to be great, and that God and Mary are going to take care of me, and get me out of trouble, just like my parents use to do when I was a pup. (no no, Im not in any kind of legal trouble or anything like that. Just problems on the job) But I can't help but to feel that things are going to work out for the best.

Starbright, I guess "Observing" is what I am here to do. Please donlt you or anyone else mind me if I go off on a day dream once in a while. I don't mean to ramble on, but this has allways been my favorite topic of conversation. Since a lot of my loved ones have fallen for the satanic lies of peagenism, atheism, and agnosticismk, it's hard to have these kind of discussions without hearing ridicule. I, myself, have fallen for the satanic lie of substance abuse, and have handed out simular ricicule to others, so I am not a completely innocent party here, but it's nice to find good people who I can talk to aobut my Faith.

By the way, I constantly pray for my loved ones, especialy those who have fallen away from the Faith.

Peace to All

Observer

[LittleRed]

Observer, It is the struggles of our lives that bring us closer to God and His Son

And it wasn`t the pot that caused your horrible experience(and you shouldn`t be smoking it anyways )....There are times that satan will attack when he knows a person is drawing near and closer to God...It happened to me and it has happened to Pippy and we are not drug users nor am I a big drinker.....

Bless, Sharon

[Observer]

Little Red, I know what you mean. Many people don't ever turn to God until there's a crises in their lives. That's not the case with me, though. As for being a drug user, I haven't used in almost 10 years. Niether pot or alcohol.

As for the horible experience, I have to disagree with you a little. I do think that the episode of paranoia that I suffered through was partialy due to the dope, but I also believe that God can use things like drug induced hilucinations or feelings of paranoia to get His message across. In my case, that message was that if I had died while high on that substance, I would have gone straight to hell, because I felt the total absence of God, and the terrifying presence of satan. I was with my 3 brothers at the time. My oldest brother didn't smoke any weed with us, all though he's an agnostic. It was just three of us who toked, and I was never more freaked in my life. That was the VERY LAST time I have or ever will toke again, and that was almost 10 years ago.

I only use to abuse two substances, pot and alcohol, and through the grace of God, I've been off both of them since May of 1997.

Peace to All

Observer

[LittleRed]

Observer, You should be very proud of yourself for staying clean for ten years ....In today`s society that speaks volumes!! I am so glad to hear you are recovered from that period of your life

As for the demon attack, I still believe it was from satan....I have had an episode where a demon tried to scare me(I was in this different type of state where I was sleeping,but yet I was awake...it is hard to describe unless it has happened to you), but I called out to Mother Mary and recited the Lord`s Prayer....Our Lady came to me and the angels that accompany her came....And I felt protected because I had never know such fright as I did when I saw a demon at the foot of my bed....satan has not tried to scare me like that since(and that was back in 1991 or 1992, but I still remember it as if it were yesterday)....It does happen....

But anyhow, I am glad you have turned your life around and have decided to live for Christ ...You get two thumbs up!!

Bless, Sharon

[starbright]

Observer, I used to smoke dope too and gave it up in 2002, so you're not alone. I also had some horrible experiences, maybe or maybe not due to the drugs. I'm not going to talk about them. But what I am trying to say is that you're not alone and God can call any one of us. For certain I was such a terrible sinner and now I'm back with my faith and I can't imagine what made me leave it in the first place. I'm so much happier now. I haave a goal (Heaven!) and a purpose (getting close to God and evangelising!) I'm sure you feel the same. God bless you and well done for staying clean.

[Observer]

Starbright, I can understand where you are comming from. I was and still am a sinner, too but through the grace of God and His Blessed Mother, I am a much happier person, and much healthier physicaly, mentaly and spiritualy. You and I both know what a struggle it can be to get out of that particular trap that satan has set for us, so you are to be comended, too.

Little Red, YOU BET YOUR LIFE demon attacks happen, and though I don't think my experience with the pot was a demon attack per se, I do believe that God was guiding my drug induced thoughts that night. He was giving me a very clear warning that He does NOT want me getting high on ANYTHING.

As for your experience, I had a very simular thing happend to me on a few ocassions. I never actualy saw a demon at the foot of my bed, but I do remember a rather horifying experience that happened to me two days after I got home from my 1986 trip to Medjugorje. I was living with my parents at the time. I was still into the substance abuse, but it was dieing off within me, and I was not high at all this night. I went to sleep, and I drempt that I was in a very dark place. I fealt this horible fear, that was like an electrical shock surging through my whole body. I was walking along some dark path when I heard what sounded like a heard of pigs squealing. All of a sudden, I was surounded by a heard of pigs, and one of hem bit me on the hand and clamped down hard. I could not get my hand out of this pigs mouth. Finaly the pig let go of my hand, and that's when I recited "In the name of my Saviour Jesus Christ, satan be gone!" and this horror almost as quickly stopped. My younger sister who was pregnant at the time, told a very simular story about a horible fear, but no pigs or other beings. She said that she could smell this horible odor of excriment as she went through her ordeal. She started reciting "Hail Mary's" and her experience ended as soon as she did.

I did experience other "fear" episodes in my life, but that one was THE worst ever. And they allways stop after I call on the name of Jesus.

So yes, there IS a devil and a hell, and he does try to pull us away from God in any way he can.

Peace to All

Observer

[Dorine]

Hi everyone my name is Dorine and I`m from upstate N.Y.(USA).I`ve been to Medjugorje several times.My first trip was April 1990,at that point I was becoming a luke warm catholic.My children were grown and so if I didn`t go to church on Sunday I`d promise that I`d go the following week.
I had lyme disease and ended up with crippiling arthritis in my hands,knee etc.and I was looking for a cure.Someone handed me Wayne Wheibble`s newsletter and that was my introduction to Medjugorje.
I finally was able to go to Medjugorje and I was thrilled,even though I had to search for my rosaries.I didn`t know what to expect when I got there but I was pleasantly surprized.I received so many blessings,I saw the sun spinning,smelled roses when there were none around and my rosaries turned gold.As Wayne Wheible calls it a kiss from the Blessed Mother! The biggest gift I received from that trip was that I would never be a luke warm catholic again.I will write more later.God Bless,Dorine[/url]

[aoise]

Welcome Dorine and Observer. Your story Observer is very moving because it is so honest. I will keep you in my prayers that God continues to guide you and lead you to the Priesthood if that is his will. I too now pray the rosary daily and I am fascinated that you manage to even do it while biking !! I have a CD of the Rosary from Medjugorje and often play it in the car. On long journeys, I also listen to Father Slavko's adoration CD. If I'm not playing those two, I have plenty of other Medjugorje CDs but just occaisionaly, I like to have a blast from Tina Turner or M People. You would understand, full throttle as I call it. It does wonders for the lungs !! I have a confession to make about the name Aoise, which hitherto, I have kept quiet about. When I first joined this forum I really didn't give too much thought to what name to choose. This is evidenced by the fact that Aoise is really my cats name !!

[Cathy B]

Hi Aoise, I really had a good laugh reading your post,(above) that your cat's name is Aoise . You know the longer I'm on this wonderful forum, I honestly believe that Our Lady has us telling the stright truth and nothing but the truth. By the way, I like your cats name

God Bless,
Cathy B

[Spera]

Hi Dorine and welcome!

And how do you pronounce "Aoise"? I can't quite figure that out.

I enjoyed reading all your posts, Observer--for some reason I didn't see them at first when you wrote them, but better late than never.

Spera

[Wooday]

Thanks Observer and Doreen for the moving and powerful testimonies.

Is there any greater miracle than a deep heartfelt conversion?

God bless

Gerry

[aoise]

Hello Spera. Its confession time here. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa !! Aoise is my cat's name. It was the first thing that came into my head at the time. Its Irish and pronounced as in Esher, Surrey.
My mother was Irish so I wanted a name that refelcted my heritage. It never occured to me that other user names usually reflect some aspect of holiness ! So, she cannot be said to be Holy but she 'listens' to the rosary with me every day from Medjugorje and Lourdes. Croatian and French seem to pose no difficulty ! She even puts up with me burning my Tibetan insense while I'm praying the rosary.

[Spera]

Hi Aoise--I never would have guessed it is pronounced "Esher". Wow. Do I have that right? Don't apologize for using your cats name as your user name. There are no rules regarding that and it can be anything you wish. Your cat's name is as good as any other! It's great to be Irish. I'm about 1/2 Irish, myself!

Spera

[starbright]

I have a cousin in Ireland called Aoife - pronounced 'eefa' so I had an idea but I had to ask too

[izzy_682]

Observer, that is so weird!!! When I started posting in this forum, I would get high during the evening and start browsing threads. Well, one of those evenings I had what you could call a "bad-trip" and had this fear that something was going to pop-up on the screen at any moment to scare me. And then, I had the EXACT same revelation as you! I realized that if I were to die while being high, there'd be no purgatory for me but I'd go straight to hell!!!
Isn't that weird?

Izzy