My dramatic conversion

[Philomena]

Hello to all of you, I have been lurking for a year or two now, and finally will speak up because I feel Jesus wants me to share this with you all.
I was very pregnant in 1993 with my firstborn child and obsessed with finding a Nativity set for my home for about a year. I couldn't find one in the stores anywhere at the time. Finally, I did find exactly what I had been looking for and set it up with roses and holly around it. At the time, it was the only religious item in my house. As a child, I learned of Fatima and remember doing the first Saturdays on my own because I loved our mama so much. But after moving away from home, even to another country (just like the prodigal son) I lost my faith and fell into mortal sin.
Anyway, on the night of December 12th, at 11:30pm, I lay on my couch, alone, in hard labor. My husband was asleep upstairs and there was no one else there. I began to become fearful. I starting thinking about the Blessed Mother and what it must have been like for her alone in Bethlehem. And I said In my thoughts, "well, at least she knew everything would be alright because she had God with her." Right at the moment I thought of that, I felt a presence in the room, over by the Nativity set. Then a moment later, I saw a shadow where I felt the presence. (it was as if veils were being dropped one by one so I could see)Then a moment after that I did see someone standing there, but could not recognize him. Then I did recognize Him. It was Jesus standing right there looking in at my Nativity set. He was so magnificent, much taller and broader in the shoulders than any picture had painted Him. His whole countenance was majesty, peace and pure pure love. There was a light that came from within Him, and I understood at that moment, "this is the source of all light, of all love." Here is the most beautiful human being I have ever seen. Here is the Master, the Truth. And I knew at the moment that everything that the Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches is the absolute truth. He then turned to look at me, His garments sparkled like pure gold and His eyes were on fire. He smiled and said (not with His lips, but I still heard Him) "Everything's going to be alright" And then He shot these two pure white beams of light at me from His eyes and disappeared from my sight.
So, there I was, the sinner, waking up my husband, the sinner, and telling him its time to go to the hospital. I also told Him I just saw Jesus. Yeah, Ok right. At 6:02 am the following morning I gave birth to my son. As soon as I heard his cry, Jesus immediately appeared again. This time he stood right next to me, but I could only see him as sort of a negative like the shroud of Turin looks (I know many of you have seen this as well before, so you know what I am talking about) I dared not look away from Him to see my newborn son because I was afraid that if I did, He would disappear. Finally I forced myself to look away from Him and I looked at my son. Then I looked back at Jesus and HE WAS STILL THERE.
He smiled and then faded away. Ironically, there was a roomful of student nurses watching me give birth and a few were looking at me intently because they knew I was seeing something but I told them nothing.
Anyway, two days later I learned of Medjugorje for the first time and heard my very first message. It was as if Jesus said to me, "Now that I have your attention, Listen to My Mother."
A few months after this happened I was back to work, and I was of course beginning my conversion, and I was in a Basilica and came across this awesome picture of Jesus and I gasped, "Whoever painted this also saw Him because this is exactly what He looks like." I bought the picture and asked all of my Holy friends if they knew anything of the origin of this picture. Finally, yes someone knew the origin of that picture.
"Its Sister Faustina's picture of the Divine Mercy" Its the one when his
garments appear to be slightly gold. I experienced Divine Mercy first hand.
Since then, my husband has become Catholic and we are raising a very large family. I have had alot of mystical experiences since then. Maybe I will tell you about my experiences while in a coma a few years back,
because alot of those things concern the secrets, but not in this forum.
I will tell you one thing now though. Pray the angelus three times daily, because I was in a Catholic hospital during my coma and they played it on the loudspeaker and I could hear demons and they absolutely went NUTS when that prayer would come over the loudspeaker. They would say the most unspeakable things, but they HATED it so much..
Anyway, I am glad to be here with all of you - I feel like I am not alone when I come to this site. I love all of your conversion stories. God Bless.

[Pippy]

Philomena, thank you so much for sharing your experience...how blessed are you by Our Lord! I am also very, very happy that you have taken the leap to join our family here! Thank you so much for that as well!

I will try to start saying the "Angelus"(I can't promise the 6am time, as I am a later riser when I don't have to work. )

Bless you and your's! Pippy

[paddy]

Thank you Philomena, for sharing your remarkable story with us. You certainly caught my attention about the Angelus!
God bless
Paddy

[Philomena]

I have not seen the painting by Millet, can you tell me where it can be found on the internet? I forgot to tell you one thing; my birthday is April 19th. This is the day of the beatification of St. Faustina and it occurred on Divine Mercy Sunday. Seems the Lord had this all planned from the beginning.

[franaissance]

Philomena,
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with us. It is very encouraging. I do hope that you will share your other experiences. It is all too easy for me to forget how great God is these days.

By the way, what is the Angelus. I think it is prayed during Mass but I don't know which prayer it is.

Thanks,

[Philomena]

Thank you Paddy, John Boy, Pippy and Fanaissance for your warm welcomes, although I feel as if I already know you as I have been spying for quite some time now. The angelus can be found at spiritdaily.com home page, if you scroll down a bit you will see that you can click on it and print it out. Traditionally it is said at 6am, 12noon and 6pm.
God bless

[kmssmiley]

Thank you for sharing your story. What an awesome gift.

[mcikath]

Welcome Philomena to the Forum, may you gain many blessings by visiting this site, you are very blest to have seen Jesus--love and peace mcikath xxx

[Philomena]

thank you all for your kind welcomes - this forum is such a gift and therefore we must all pray hard for the protection of this forum and all involved; satan would love to crush it. As for disclosing more experiences, yes when I am prompted and when it is necessary I most certianly will. But I must tell you that I carry a heavy cross now and I am terrified of my judgement day because I know that the Lord has given me every possible grace and yet I am still not a Saint. I still stumble on fast days, and don't pray 15 decades like we have been told, and I still battle imperfections daily and for this reason I am terrified. I always feel as if the Lord is displeased with me because he has given me so much and I have given him so little in return. This is why I chose to speak regularly in the forum, because I have been given so much and need to share it. Please keep me in your prayers and be assured all of you are in mine. I can feel the goodness of your souls.

[starbright]

Philomena, please don't be terrified.

Look, God only wants you to try your best, not to expect perfection. You can only do a bit at a time. It takes time to work up to things. It takes time to fast properly, do 15 decades. These are not dictates to get frightened about, they are advice in love. Please, go easy on yourself. God asks that we love and accept His love. That we trust. That we try to live His way. Not that we think that unless we are saints we are damned. That is terrible and is no way to live your life. God does not damn those who are not saints! People who reject God totally send themselves to hell. If you are a Catholic and if you try to live according to God's teachings and if you follow Medjugorje then you are doing enough and you are not damned. Please, be gentle with yourself. You are made in the image of God.

Frances (Starbright)

[franaissance]

Philomena, always remember that the great Saints were not born saints. They became saints through the grace of God and the practice of virtue. I don't by any means think they had an easy time of it and must have stumbled many, many times. And they also felt indadequate before God...who wouldn't....

I recall a story Mother Angelica shared...how she would ask God for patience. And wouldn't you know it, God would send her someone for whom she could practice that virtue....(She recounts it much better.) Such that she wanted that virtue and God didn't give her patience but the opportunity to grow in patience...

[Philomena]

Thank you both, your responses brought immediate peace to my heart. Still I have this vision of my judgement day, "I have given you everything I could possibly give you and yet you are still mediocre." Remember that olive tree he cursed? I am worried that my fruit is mediocre. You are both right; patience is the key to conversion; both with ourselves and others.

[darrell]

Philomena,

Wecome to the forum. Thank you for sharing your story. I must tell you that I was amazed when you said the Divine Mercy image is exactly what Jesus looked like. I have another friend who died and saw Jesus, and the exact same thing happened to her!

Here is a link for a picture of the Angelus:
http://www.mtholyoke.edu/courses/nvaget ... ngelus.jpg

God Bless,
Darrell

[aoise]

Dear Philomena

I have just read your story. It is 7am on 25th June, the 26th anniversary of the apparitions at Medjugorje. What a wonderful story to read on this special day. As the other readers have said, don't be too hard on yourself. The secret to holiness as I see it, is to persevere. If you fail, as we all do, then pick yourself up and carry on. Don't look back. Just hand it to Jesus, leave it to His Mercy and go forward again. I always say to myself, only God is perfect. I think even the saints failed, probably repeatedly but they persevered to the end. Thank you again for such a wonderful witness. I am off to Mass now and will pray for you and everyone on this forum. Let us celebrate God's greatness in sending His Holy Mother to us for so long now. What incredible love.
Laudate Jesu Christi

[Spera]

Philomena, Thank you for sharing your beautiful and personal experiences with us here. I feel like I've just been given a gift.

Spera